It’s not a very original term. All the great
religious and spiritual traditions have their path in one form or another. The
means by which they ascend the hierarchies of belief to reach oneness with
their God. If fact the Chinese philosophical of Taoism, translates to the way
or the path.
I have been in recovery for close to three
decades. At times I have struggled simply
living life. I have battled varying degrees of depression and anxiety at times
so crippling I could not get out of bed. Through my struggles I found a way
forward though darkness and into the light of being. I call this The Path
I came from a place pure blackness. I could
see no light. I felt only fear and self-loathing. I lived this way for years,
somehow managing not only to stay alive, but to have a career and a family.
Make no mistake, both my job and my kids suffered. Pride and fear prevented me
from seeking help. My ego’s inability to admit as a man, that I had no control
of my life which spun around me.
The most baffling aspects of my depression
where that I had the basic tools to improve the quality of my life. I had the
12 Step Program that I knew was effective. I was very good at staying away from
drinking, but not so good at living life. Pride stood against me. My inability
to be honest with another human being for fear for what they thought of me,
stood in my way. The older I got, the harder it became for me. In my mid-40s I
said enough was enough. I had to get better.
What happened? I would love to say that it was
an act of Divine Inspiration. That God or angels descended to lift me into the
light, but none of that happened. It was not my family or my kids that kept
going during that time. It was not the sliver of hope that I felt that someday
my life could better either. It was a personal belief in reincarnation. This
philosophy is what carried me through. The Universe was teaching me a lesson. I
couldn’t bear the thought of having to come back and live these lessons all
over again.
When I finally let go of previous beliefs and
began to form my own ideas of who or what God is that I began to find my way.
Like the path, my concept of God evolves and matures. I have no personal
cosmology. God is the underlying intelligence that permeates throughout all
creation .
At first The Path was not a path, but a
self-improvement model. A little exercise, a healthier diet and greater
involvement in 12 step meetings. There were many false starts. At times I felt
unmotivated and I was unwilling to extend the ranges of my comfort zones.
Still, I edged forward. I began by shifting my perspective from external
results to internal growth. Therein I began to craft the mental framework for
what would become The Path. The Path for me, is a model of mind, body, spirit;
complete holistic health.
I am far from my best, I am overweight, and
mentally I am prone fears and anxieties, while spiritually
I can be flighty. Each day I set the intention to be the best I can be; to be
present for my life and live as fully
as I can. I have learned that physical activity is as important for my mind as
it is for my body.
Physically I like to practice yoga, workout
with the kettlebell, and cycle. I enjoy hiking, being outside, connecting with
nature. I am Eating healthier and trying to incorporate more organic and whole
foods into my diet. I can feel the difference when I eat real food. These
activities heighten my mood and raises my emotional energy.
Mentally, it means getting out of my head.
Spending more time reading booking or learning new things. As a notorious
introvert it means reaching out more and being around other people. It’s
exploring my interests, embracing my creativity and to have the courage to be
myself.
Spiritually, it’s connecting with my
higher power. Keeping a meditation practice. Establishing prayer (Which are my
way of communing with God). and keeping a daily journal. Journaling enables me
to process and explore what the Universe is trying to teach me. It’s also
studying. Never allowing my beliefs to become rigid and dogmatic. It's
expanding my consciousness and allowing the Universe to direct my ways.
Creating my own path, I have forged a means to
free myself from bondage of self. It is the way by which I overcome my defects
of character and take part in my life. Evolving to be the best version of
myself. The further I walk along the path, the more it changes. It is never
static, rather it’s a living, breathing, evolving metaphor of my journey in
recovery. My actions and my aspirations are a direct response to the divine
spark which lives within me
Each morning I set my intention to
live by the holistic principles I have set for myself. That I may continue to
grow and evolve to live a fuller more authentic life. I am progressing forward
one day at a time
Comments
Post a Comment