Progress Not Perfection

My grandiose plan during my drinking days was to become a best-selling author.  That was my dream. Of course, I did more drinking than writing, but I always talked a good game. My idol was the lead singer of The Doors, Jim Morrison. Besides being the frontman of one the 60s biggest rock bands, he was also a poet and alcoholic.  I patterned my drinking career on his life. His death at 27 (from drinking) didn’t faze me. I was the same misunderstood genius he was. I wanted to be exactly like him. Trying to keep up with such legendary drunk was hard work. My efforts certainly contributed to my brief by intense drinking career. I was not built to be the type of drunk I aspired to be. My depression was too big of an obstacle to overcome to reach the heights to be a professional alcoholic.                My drinking buddies were concerned when they heard I got sober. Of course, they didn’t think I...

“Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.”– Anonymous I am an introvert. I like to think. I like to think a lot! It’s not uncommon for me to be lost in thought for hours, following my stream of consciousness wherever it may lead. I used to think so much that my first sponsor banned me from thinking during the first year of my sobriety. Telling me my best thinking made a mess out of my life. Who was I to disagree?  After a year he allowed surface thinking.  My mind always caused me trouble. Much of my recovery has been spent thinking. I had such grand plans for myself.  I loved the Navy. It was going to be my career. I was going be accepted into an officer’s program and rise through the ranks. I was intelligent enough, but I couldn’t get out of my own way. It’s been over 20 years since I have served, but there are times I look back with regret. Wishing I had ta...