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The Joys of Sobriety, Taking my Son to College



The Joys of Sobriety, Taking my Son to College

In a week I will be taking my oldest son to college. I am so proud and excited for him. Touring colleges around the state of NJ over the last two years, we both fell in love with Rider University. A small private school in Lawrenceville, NJ with a small intimate campus.  My son has a brilliant mind, but he was a lazy student.  Despite having high test scores, his grades were not the best and I was worried he would have limited choices. I was happier than he was when we learned he was accepted to Rider.

I know I will be a little sad and a little nervous when I drop him off. It seems like only yesterday I watched him graduate from Kindergarten. Now he is off to college. But this one of the benefits of sobriety, watching my kids grow up. I am not concerned he will repeat what I did myself at his age.  When my father dropped me off at West Virginia University in 1987, I went out looking for a party as soon he left. I didn't draw many sober breaths in college after that.  But I rest easy knowing my son is not going off to college as an active alcoholic.

My son is not perfect. He is a teenager, and I know what being a teenager is like. He has many challenges ahead of him. It’s his first chance to be away from home; the beginning of his journey to become his future self.  There will be an adjustment period. Being away from home for the first time is hard.  I know he is filled with anxiety, and fear, but excitement too. It will wake a while, but he will find his footing.

On his own, he will have to learn to be resilient. Understand time management, conflict resolution, and self-budgeting. There a million other things he will have to learn that he has been oblivious up until now. But he has what it takes to do this and excel. He has so many amazing experiences ahead of him that I am a tad jealous. I want them too. My drinking robbed of my chance to truly experience college.  I would love to have the opportunity to go back simply to learn and complete my degree.  That is my biggest regret in life. My greatest wish for my son is to take school seriously. Embrace his opportunities, dare to step out of his comfort zones and earn his degree


When I drop him off a week from today. And his mother and I hug him goodbye, I want him to know his new life will be hard at times, but that I have faith in him.  That he will rise above the challenges that await him. That he has what it takes to succeed. It has been a great pleasure watching him grow up to be who he is.  And I look forward to watching him grow into the man he will soon become. That his life is one of the greatest gifts of my sobriety.  I love you, buddy.

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